The number one key emotional skill for influencing others

Oprah WinfreyElevation. Studies of positive emotions such as elevation have found that one person can physiologically impact another person in a positive way, just by being at their best.

When we witness goodness or greatness in another, what happens is the “vagus” nerve is triggered in the brain to produce the hormone oxytocin, which has been labeled the “love” or “connection” molecule. Your body goes into that mode and actually mirrors inside what it observes outside. How’s that for influencing others?

Elevation appears to be caused by seeing examples of people at their best. It triggers a distinctive feeling in the chest of warmth and expansion. It causes a desire to become a better person and it seems to open one’s heart, not only to the person who triggered the feeling, but to other people as well. Elevation makes people open up and seek contact. Elevation creates positive connections.

It opens people up to new possibilities for action and thought, making them more receptive to the lessons of the person demonstrating his/her best.

What an incentive to do your best and see the best in others. In order to develop the emotional intelligence of elevation, start to observe what actions you have taken in the past that have created the same feelings in you. Is it showing faith in a co-worker that has lost faith in themselves? Is it sharing your good fortune at work with co-workers? Is it spending one on one time with someone for no other reason than they need your help?

This is the direction to follow. Follow the energy and you will be guided to take inspired action that elevates not only yourself but others.

Reference: Haidt, J. (2003). The moral emotions. In R. J. Davidson, K. R. Scherer, & H. H. Goldsmith (Eds.),
Handbook of affective sciences. Oxford: Oxford University Press.(pp. 852-870).

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